It's probably not something any of you guys reading this have to think about, or at least don't want to think about for some time. But this is a huge part of my life and by far the most important. So I thought I would change up the pace of this blog a little and talk about something not completely poker or variance related for a change.



This is my little man in one of his finer moments. Quite obviously deep into thought whether to 4bet/call or 4b shove (folding isn't in his nature). He is now 21 months old and it's amazing how fast they grow and develop in the first 2 years of life. Once we all get old and stuff, everything slows down so much, yet in our infancy we learn things so fast. It's really incredible to watch it happening right in front of you as they go from being so helpless and unable to perform the most simple tasks, to talking, walking, running, being a pest, and overall just having their own personality.

While it is all very satisfying and rewarding to help your own child learn and develop, it isn't all sunshine and rainbows either obviously. There are times it is frustrating and you do tend to lose a little sense of identity as your life is consumed by someone else 24 hours a day. Madden is a terror, in fact as I am writing this right now he just threw Nat's iPhone into a bucket of water... (Yeah, the life expectancy of the nicer things that we buy was immediately cut down when we had a child).

Something we understand though is that while he is becoming a little person, he still doesn't quite often understand what is right or wrong. This is really where it can be frustrating because while we all realise that sleep is important or that throwing food around is not acceptable, he thinks that sleep sucks and throwing food is fun. It's never easy to reason with a toddler, and Nat will tell you it's a never ending mess.

One thing really for me is that I am a poker player, but I am also a dad. A lot of online grinders focus all of their attention to being as good as they can as a poker player and consume themselves in it. I have to find a balance between being the best poker player I can be and striving for constant improvement, while at the same time trying to be the best dad I can be. It's a balancing act that I am trying to get better at and has taken me a while to gradually adjust to.

I really appreciate more than ever the lifestyle that poker offers me. It has allowed me to spend far more time with him than most people get with their kids (unless they are full-time parents). It can be a little distracting when I am trying to grind and he is pulling at my arm or having a tantrum in the background, but the overall benefits of being at home and able to jump out of my chair after a session and just play around with him far outweigh the occasional distraction. I also don't have the obligation of going to work every day and miss the activities that he undertakes through the week, such as swimming lessons or play groups. So all in all it is a huge advantage for me to be able to play poker from home and get to really see him developing as a little person.

I guess I worry from time to time that he will never realise that real people have to go to work, or that money (or toys) don't just appear from thin air. But I guess that is a responsibility as a parent to find a way to teach him these things. He's still really young and we have plenty of time to do so.

Life is different for Nat and I now, but I wouldn't change it for anything. There are just things that are a higher priority to me now than being good at poker or grinding a bunch. The value of money has changed as well now as there is someone else we need to think about when making decisions (I've always had a spending problem). There is also added motivation to remain profitable, as well as a bunch of added pressure (from myself). My life is one big balancing act, but a balancing act that I really love.

Hope you are all well!

Matt

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