I assume your family is like mine and you still have some folks in your extended clan who think poker is basically four guys in visors smoking under a stained glass light or something. It's always fun to shock those folks. So, here's my gift to you: show up at your 4th of July barbecue and tell your Aunt Mabel, "At the World Series of Poker, grown adults will sit in a casino ballroom for 12 hours while another grown adult rubs their shoulders like they are a county fair prize hog."
That should get the party started.
The $1,000 shoulder rub
This is not a weird side hustle. This is an actual cottage industry. There are massage therapists working the WSOP floor the way beer guys work a ballpark. They tiptoe between tables, find the crook-necked grinders, and settle in behind them, sometimes for the long haul.
Now, these massages are not always quick little “get the kink out” affairs. Some players will get worked on for hours. Not one hour. Not two. All damned day. The therapist stays there orbiting the chair, digging into traps and lats and whatever muscle controls a man’s ability to three-bet light.
At casino prices, that can turn into a massage bill north of $1,000. A thousand bucks for one massage! On a spiritual level, it is basically a used Honda Civic being kneaded into somebody’s spine.
Seriously, check out this guy settling up with his therapist at the end of the day.
Massage bankroll management
Back to your BBQ and aunt. Finish it off like this and see how she reacts:
“Well, Aunt Mabel, Cousin Darrell lost $4,300 in tournaments but he says his hamstrings are +EV now. Pass the potato salad.”
So, let no one tell you poker is an unhealthy pursuit. Sure, the WSOP is a room full of people making life-altering financial decisions, but they are doing it while being tenderized like brisket and paying good money for it. Sounds healthy to me.
