Allen Kessler, heaven help him, has once again wandered into a situation that only makes sense in the middle of the World Series of Poker.
Check the video. That's Chainsaw himself whining that he has roughly $76,000 scattered around various casinos that he can't manage to put his hands on.
In almost everybody's world, this is an emergency. At the WSOP, it is Tuesday.
Most people I see around Vegas are hoping their debit card will work at the grocery store. Poker players like Chainsaw worry about whether the cage at Casino A can magically beam five figures to Casino B before the $10K mixed event starts. They talk about “having money” like a carnie might talk about his collection of magic beans behind the Tilt-A-Whirl. Very valuable, but who the hell knows what happens if you try to eat them?
This is Fantasy Land
Kessler and all these other weirdos around me are what makes the WSOP such a cool but often stupid little terrarium for degeneracy. Inside it, a player can be rich, broke, liquid, stuck, backed, swapped, owed, owned, pwned and freerolling all before dinner. And that's when they play Credit Card Roulette.
Once they get out of Vegas, half of the people here will be trying to remember whether they remembered to reactivate the auto-pay for their water bill. But as long as they are here, an untouchable $76,000 is the rough equivalent of not having enough towels in their hotel room.
This world, the WSOP, and Las Vegas isn't a real place for most folks. But, I'll be damned if it's not a place you can come to dream. Just make sure your dreams are big enough to include someone to keep track of your money for you.
