You can always find what you are looking for.
The player who is convinced that he is unlucky and runs so bad will always find reasons to support his belief. The player who thinks their opponent is terrible at poker can always find a play to prove, without a doubt, that they’re an idiot.
And when you make a questionable play at the poker table that blows up your stack, there’s always some way to present the context of the hand to make it seem like you played it reasonably.
It doesn’t matter what you’re looking for. You can always find something to support it. You can always find someone who agrees with you.
The hidden cost of being right
But the problem with living this way is that there is no reward for finding these things, other than being able to say: “Look, I was right.” That’s literally it.
You get to say you were right. The enjoyment of being right lasts just a moment and then it’s gone.
After that you’re off to look for the next thing to be right about, just like any other junkie. It's an addiction like no other. It never ends. It brings you nothing good.
The only reason you live this way is because the world trains us all at a young age that being wrong is the worst possible thing you can be – especially to be wrong in front of other people.
There’s no money in that.
The fear of being wrong
In fact, the need to be right can cost you.
People who need to be right are too afraid to try stuff, and as a result can never reach the top of their field because they'd rather people think highly of them than go after what they want and risk losing that.
You don’t just win less and earn less. Your relationships suffer, because you would rather be right than stay connected — so you get to “win” the argument but the other person no longer wants to be around you.
But it’s all just an exercise in acceptance. Can you learn how to accept being wrong, and the emotions that come with it?
That’s it. That’s the entire test.
Pass this test consistently, and everything in life gets way better. You play better poker. You win more. You feel better after you win (and lose). Relationships improve. And your mind stops telling you that you needed to do it better, all because you’ve given up the need to be right above all else.
Jason Su is the author of The Joy of Poker and coaches many of the world’s top poker players on how to perform their best when it matters most.
Learn more with Jason on YouTube and through what some say is 'the best newsletter in poker,' which you can access for free at pokerwithpresence.com.
